I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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