Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
