I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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