Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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