Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize