you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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