I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
