I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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