can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
