I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
