please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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