Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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