what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
