ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
