and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
