Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
