Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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