Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
