it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's never too late to be topless.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
