just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
