my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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