apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
