direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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