I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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