Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
