i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
