His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
