If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
only you would photoshop your dick
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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