I'm so fucking centered right now
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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