were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize