If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
