Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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