it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
