He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize