im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize