He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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