I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
