It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
