he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We have so much sex to catch up on
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
