1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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