i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
