In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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