the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
NoShamevember. You game?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
