Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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