oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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