Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
