Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
