Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
