North Korea, Best Korea!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
