New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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