Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
