in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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