Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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