Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
