so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize