I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
