I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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