Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
