"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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