Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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