Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
