$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
