I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
