So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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